Album Review: 1st of 10,003
Album: Howl by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Reviewers: Teacher Jason and Sweet Pete Albertson

Thursday, October 1, 2009 12:38 PM

"Ain't No Easy Way" is obviously the best song on this album. If anyone says elsewise... well god has an even worse punishment for kittens (and fairys?) than when you yank the tank. Wicked simple guitar riff and lyrics with mucho mucho soul is exactly what im talkin bout. I really dig at the end of the first verse when the second guitar pops in with some high end sweet action. And who cant get off to some good ole' slide gee-tar that takes you right back to that rickety wood front porch where grandpa Rufus would sit and play guitar to you, Ella Mae, Emma Bee and Auntie Ceecee while mama was making sweet tea (oh wait, you're not a black child living in Mississippi in the 30s?). Now to be honest, I couldn't understand a word Peter Hayes (lead vocals) is saying 60% of the time... all the time. So i looked up the lyrics and i gotta say, im glad im not a huge dylan fan. In the second verse:

"It's easy to fall in love
When you're on your luck you know you're done
and the last kiss had a foolish cause
now your tired eyes could only haunt"

That third line is wicked good, but most of the time im just trying to figure out what drugs were being taken during the writing process, where i can get them, and how much do they cost.


Pete...

Thursday, October 1, 2009 1:47 PM

Wait, wait, wait. Your last line (“what drugs were being taken during the writing process . . .”) exactly describes how I feel when I read, well, just about any prose you write. So if you are NOT already on drugs as I assumed, I should probably cancel that intervention we had scheduled for this weekend . . .

On to the review!

“Time won’t save our souls.” This very dramatic opening definitely caught my attention. Usually anything involving the word “soul” does. Unfortunately BRMC lost me shortly thereafter. Why, you ask? Simply put, there is no soul in BRMC. It’s a collection of songs dedicated to melancholy – not blues, despair – not hope, and it sounds British – not southern. For some people, these characteristics are pluses. Not so for me.

The only track worth it’s time is “Weight of the World”. Don’t ask me for the marquee line or anything. I couldn’t understand what the dude was saying either. It’s just a well put together tune for them. But if you want to know what I really think it needs, I’d give it a shot of espresso. Better yet, how about a Mountain Dew . . . shot gunned. Fuck it. The whole album needs a 5-hour Energy and a shot of Cabo Wabo!

It’s just too damn cloudy and rainy on this album.

What say you, Teacher Jason, lover of all Black Rebelious Motorcyclists?

Thursday, October 1, 2009 2:22 PM

Advice received... dopio (double) shot of espresso dumped into my beverage of choice, which after listening to "Weight of the World," happens to be... a cool glass of Jonestown's famous fatal Kool-aid. (Pan cameras down for view of black and white Nike Cortez). Figured the caffeine would speed up the whole shooting up towards god in a spaceship journey. I understand that the song is one well put together, but in terms of its soul, energy, and Souff-ernness, the scoreboard reads "Dead cult followers 1, Weight of the World nill." Its true, I'm tapping my foot while drooling at the Uptown Espresso barista... I'll give you (and the Creepin' Peepin' Toms of West Seattle Association - CPTWSA for short) that, but I believe the papers noted a few post-mortem twitching Nikes as well. You know a well composed tune when you hear one Senor Fuego, pero, good ole' down home folk/blues tunes like the opening "Shuffle Your Feet" is the stuff that gets Uni-testicled bicyclists ahead of the Parisian Pack. Save the Yellow-5 for the live shows you motor-boatin son of a bitch!

So we agree... done with this review? Onto whatevers clever in your books Pedro.

Full stop.

Thursday, October 1, 2009 2:58 PM

Kool-Aid? Really? You are the one, my friend, who has drunk the Kool-Aid. I’m not sure what it is you like so much. This ain’t no down-home-bluesy-soul band. Wait . . . I get it. You think these Black Rebels are actually black. Well I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but they won’t be opening for Earth, Wind, and Fire anytime soon. Or do you like them because of the fact that they share with us the word “Club” in their name? Trust me Teach, that is where the commonalities end. Have you seen the interviews?! The other bands they play with? Mississippi is not the home of shoegaze/nu-gaze. Ask Wikipedia.

My opinion of this album ought be taken with a grain of salt because I cant stand much of the indie/noise rock/shoegaze genre. For those who need more than a depressing rainy weather driving soundtrack: don’t waste your time illegally downloading Howl. But if you need some tunes at the start of your day while pouring yourself into your skinny sagging black jeans , by all means, ENJOY!

I’m sorry this co-review turned into a bludgeoning much like the one your fantasy football team is going to take this weekend but learning and growing can sometimes be painful. I bet our fans didn’t think Teacher Jason would be the one getting schooled.

Over and out.